For almost his entire life, a pro is treated special. Rules are relaxed for him, and winks and nods get him to the next level.

Until recently, he could even skip growing up altogether, and just demand (and get) money for his potential.

Our society no longer accepts the boys-will-be-boys apology. Pros everywhere should realize this, because there are enough people who want their jobs – and possess the same skill sets.

Gone are the days when teams would hide the trouble their players were having; troubles like coping with everyday life.

Troubles like beating up their wife or girlfriend.

What do you think don’t we get?

That you are or were an important man?

That you are strong?

Why is there such a large percentage of players and former players who commit acts of domestic violence?

Do they not know how they denigrate themselves as well as their teams and their leagues to rightful derision and scorn?

Nothing the agent does shall deny the client money

The NFL has programs concerning off-field behavior. Do they work? Keep reading.

Do their agents even offer players guidance? Of course not. Overwhelmingly, agents think if they help reel in their client, he (the client) will lose some of his bete noire image. But a player evokes a bad-boy image (if that’s his desire) by acts ON the field or court, not off of it.

Look at John McEnroe. He is still considered tennis’ SuperBrat, even 20 years past his heyday. His aggression is never directed against people physically.

Mean Joe Greene was the undisputed leader of the Steelers defense throughout the 1970s, just as Troy Polamulu is now. Both of them have quiet lifestyles, and let their play do the talking (or hurting!) Both of them are said to be nice all-around guys.

When puerile off-field actions are the only press one gets, it is possibly because the Pro never fully separated the game from real life. He cannot think of himself as a person without including his adulations. His life is still on the field or in the locker room. Or both.

After O.J. Simpson was charged with the murder of his wife and her friend, the NFL went to all the teams’ training camps to talk about domestic violence. It had become an issue because Simpson was first charged with domestic violence five years earlier, in 1989. And in the 20 years since then, we still have headlines. What difference has the league domestic violence program made?

Same-day Super Bowl violence spiking has been disproved, but The Journal of Sports Economics did a study on college football games and crime. Their evidence says that when there is a home game, crime increases. When there is an upset, crime increases even more.

Our results suggest that the host community registers sharp increases in assaults, vandalism, arrests for disorderly conduct, and arrests for alcohol-related offenses on game days. Upsets are associated with the largest increases in the number of expected offenses.

Why is this?

We think those abusers play a vicarious game. They see how aggression is valued and even revered on the field, and they cannot fully separate that from the reality of their own lives; much like we think some former players cannot think of themselves away from the sport, some abusers have a deep vision of their life as having the positive attributes of a competitive game.

• Get ready
• Get set
• Go at it for 1 hour
• Retreat
• Think and talk about what happened
• Repeat

My life isn’t like that.

Yours probably isn’t either.

My life has crap – for which I’ve not prepared – that hits it from all sides at any time – and not just for 1 hour. Everybody’s does.

Some players and fans need to work on distinguishing “what you are” from “what you do.”

We fans see from many sources that all players are self-serving, privileged and pampered. The same media show some of them as unruly, unethical or illegal. We don’t see genuine examples of professional tough guys being warm or gentle in their off-field lives – and we desperately need to see that.

But it has to be honest. We’re not idiots.

Family Violence Prevention Fund President Esta Soler has said, “(A)s public figures, athletes are in a unique position to take a stand against violence, and many are doing just that. We commend the professional athletes who are helping to raise awareness about abuse and doing their part to end violence against women and children.”

We call on pros of every sport to rise against domestic violence, now, while your teammates and the public are paying attention. Your league’s instructions are clearly not working.

Otherwise, the football names already in the newspapers associated with domestic violence will continue to grow.

2009 only:

• Will Billingsley
• Tom Cable
• Cornell Green
• Shawn Merriman
• Richard Quinn

What are you doing?

Do you think that maybe you need help?
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Hey, Stay-Pro

Troy Polamalu by Todd Nauck